Leslie Charles: Are You Having Any Fun?

Editor's Note: Welcome Leslie Charles, Michigan author and motivational speaker who has been connecting people with their potential since 1979. I've enjoyed reading Leslie's blog and following her on Twitter (@crankybuster), and I'm pleased that she's sharing her expertise with Michigan Women's Forum. Enjoy!
 
You may raise an eyebrow as you read the title of this article. Here in Michigan we have many reasons not to be having fun: the economy, job uncertainty, health or lifestyle changes, and an unpredictable future. Yet, in spite of it all, if we’re willing to look, there are still many small gifts, surprises, and blessings we can give ourselves.

Like a photographer that steps back to take in the whole picture, you can take a quick snapshot of your life to assess what’s working and what’s not, so you know what adjustments to make. Do this periodically so you know what’s right in your life and what needs tweaking. And if you’re in a bind right now (I happen to be), it helps to remember that opportunity and adversity are constant companions.

You’ve probably read or been told that happiness isn’t something you acquire, it’s something you are. Happiness is a state of being you can choose, or lose. Paradoxically, hanging onto happiness lies in the art of letting go of what’s wrong (letting go of what bugs, annoys, or threatens you) and instead choosing to embrace what’s right in your life.

During your daily travels, take note of the faces around you. Do people appear upbeat and energetic, or down and dour? In fact, maybe you could ask yourself what your face looks like most of the time. An elementary teacher once told me how one of her students came up to her and asked, “Are you having a good day?” The teacher said, “Yes I am!” and her student said, “Then maybe you could let your face know!”

Your face is a mirror

Perhaps you’ve heard of the mind-body connection: well, your face mirrors what’s going on in your head. If you’re thinking negative, vexing thoughts, it will show in your expression. Too many people take note of annoyances and irritations instead of cataloging all the things that go smoothly through the day (your hair and skin look pretty good today, rush traffic flows smoothly, and your boss seems pretty mellow for once).

Granted, as a responsible adult, you have a lot on your plate, but if you’ve got some nagging issues that don’t seem to be going away on their own, this is a good time to take stock. But before we leap into the future, let’s briefly visit your past.

As kids, we had no control over our environment. We suffered fears, insecurities, imperfect attempts at guidance by (mostly) well-meaning adults, and traumas from siblings, peers, scary movies, or a lack of understanding about what was really going on. Perhaps you’ve shared some of your not-so-wonderful childhood memories with friends, and you can now laugh at your childhood Hall of Horrors.

But there was also bliss. Recall the blessed, beautiful days where you had all kinds of time to play and few responsibilities. Now you’re older and wiser. As they say, life goes on. But do you still retain some of the curiosity, enthusiasm, and energy you had as a kid? Or have you let your daily grind overshadow your spirit?

Learn how to play

Are you having fun? If the answer is yes, congratulate yourself. If your answer is “no” then ask yourself, “why not”? The only one who can change the situation is you.

In the words of Oliver Wendell Holmes, “We don’t quit playing because we grow older, we grow older because we quit playing.” If you’re feeling tired and uninspired or pressed and stressed, maybe it’s time to shift your perspective and add a little pizzazz to your days. Learn how to play again! Here are some to spice up your life:

• Start looking at the world with the eyes of a small child. Pay attention. Watch a sunrise, contemplate a sunset, look at nature with a sense of awe. Revive your passion. Doggone it, you’re still alive, so be fully alive!

• Every night, before you fall asleep, reflect on the good things that happened while letting the annoyances slide into your mental landfill where they rightfully belong.

• Smile and laugh more. Get tickled over things that might tick off a lesser person. Look for the irony, humor, or oddity in a situation instead of its aggravating aspects.

• Rediscover your enthusiasm. Think about the most enthusiastic person you know (it could be a kid!) and cultivate their vitality.

Fake it 'til you make it

You may have to work on it; “fake it 'til you make it” is always a good strategy. Remember; your spirit never knows how old you are.

• Move more, eat less, love your body. Remember how active you were as a kid. Try a little yoga, take a cardio class of some kind. Regular exercise (even a bit at a time) can give you more energy. Think of food as “fuel” and go for premium (in small amounts). Actually taste what you have in your mouth, savor the flavors.

• Get gutsy. Try something you’ve never done before. Get a new hairstyle, take up a new sport, craft, or skill, visit a place you’ve never seen, or eat a food you’ve never had. Add something new to your life. opt for adventure.

• Appreciate your relationships. If any of them need reviving, do what you can to bring back balance, connection, or closeness with those you care about. Research indicates that people who enjoy deep, lasting, rewarding relationships tend to live longer.

Life is a gift we often take for granted and when that happens we sell ourselves short. Slow down, be aware of what’s going on. Breathe deeply. Smile and laugh more. Rejoice in the time you have on this earth even when things aren’t perfect. Be grateful. Develop the habit of consistently reviewing what’s right in your life.

On a small piece of paper, make a list of the five things you feel most grateful for and carry it with you. When you must suffer an annoying person or situation, pull our your list and read it. This is the shortest stress management seminar you can inflict on yourself, and practiced faithfully, this small act can renew your spirit.

Be more self-aware. Every now and then, stop, take a deep relaxing breath, relax, check your face, review what’s right about this moment, and smile. This will keep your past and present in perspective, and help ensure that your short-term future will give your more of what you want. This is one day in your life; take advantage of it.

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C. Leslie Charles is an award-winning professional speaker and nationally acclaimed author who still lives in the Lansing area (her home town). She has written seven books, the most recent being Bless Your Stress: It Means You're Still Alive! Visit http://LeslieCharles.com for more about her.