HAVEN: Tough to be upbeat when need is so great

Beth Morrison wanted to be upbeat for Thursday's Rise & Shine breakfast benefitting HAVEN, a non-profit that serves families touched by domestic violence in Oakland County.

She wanted to, but she couldn't, because as HAVEN's Executive Director, she knows too much. Over the past few months, HAVEN has provided services and support to the families affected by four homicides and the attempted murder of a five-year-old child.

"It was impossible for me to stick to an upbeat message," she told a crowd of about 300 people gathered for HAVEN's annual fall fund-raiser. "In the past seven days, three children have been forced to deal with the murder of their mothers." On the day one woman was killed, HAVEN provided support for 166 women and children, and hopefully prevented similar tragedies from ever happening.

Morrison pointed out one in three families in Michigan are affected by domestic violence every year, whether personally, through a friend, co-workers or family member. "That's about 100 people in this room who are affected, whether you know it or not."

To bring that message home, two members of HAVEN's speakers bureau, both of whom survived violent relationships, shared their stories. Dawn D didn't realize the bullying, pushing and shoving her husband did was considered "abuse," as she and her children didn't have any broken bones or outward signs of battering. The last straw came after her 17-year-old daughter was punched repeatedly in the head and neck as she stepped into the middle of a fight. Dawn found the courage to leave, but didn't contact HAVEN until her five-year-old was injured during visitation. Today, her life has completely turned around. She is married to a supportive husband, and her children have been given the tools they need to help them deal with their father.

Julie B is celebrating three years of freedom from abuse in November. Her partner attempted to kill her several times before Julie leafed through the Yellow Pages and found HAVEN. A counselor stayed on the phone with her for more than an hour, and when she finally got the courage to file charges against her abuser, a HAVEN advocate was at her side, helping her through the 18-month trial.

"No matter what was happening, I knew there was one person in the room who knew what I was feeling, even when I didn't know what I was feeling," she said. Julie credits HAVEN with helping her find her voice and giving her the education she has needed to stay out of abusive relationships. "They just empowered me," she said.

HAVEN Board Chair Kathy Elston said the organization needs help from individuals to keep going. About half of the budget comes from community support. The board's first vice chair, Jim Moritz acknowledged the tough economy, but pointed out times like these are when the demand for HAVEN's services rises, while donations tend to falter. Guests at the event were all presented with pledge cards and asked to contribute in any way possible, either through financial contributions or volunteering of their talents and services.

For more information, to get or give help, visit http://www.haven-oakland.org/ 

(Photo credit: Joana Croft, via http://sxc.hu)