Turned down by theaters, teens seek alternatives for sharing 'Twilight' relationships message

A scene from the wildly popular "Twilight" book series, as described by 17-year-old Kristin Batko, sounds nothing short of horrifying: A werewolf mangles his female partner's face.

Worse yet, she stays with him.

"They justify it by saying he 'imprinted' on her... they were meant for each other," said Batko, a Stoney Creek High senior and teen advisor for HAVEN, an Oakland County-based non-profit working to end domestic and sexual violence.

She also describes disturbing scenes that portray the vampire Edward watching the mortal heroine Bella while she sleeps. He steals parts from her car so that she can't travel. For many concerned about domestic, dating and sexual violence, those images simply send the wrong message about romantic relationships.

Batko and her friends on HAVEN'S Teen Advisory Council have had relationships and understand what's healthy and what isn't. But they worry about what the Twilight series communicates to younger "tweens." They wanted to share that concern at the premiere of the latest Twilight series movie, "Eclipsed," on June 30.

"We heard about an awareness activity in another state where they had 'Team Respect' shirts," Batko said. (Fans of the series have divided into "Teams" based on support for one of the two male leads, each of whom vies for Bella's heart.) "We wanted to put our own spin on it."

They printed bookmarks and had hoped to set up a table at a movie theater to distribute them and talk to people about healthy relationships. Unfortunately, they couldn't get permission from any of the theaters they contacted.

"I can understand why they wouldn't want any attention," said Teen Advisory Council member Julia Nagy, also a Stoney Creek High senior. "These movies make a lot of money."

She is also a fan of the books and movies, and she shares Batko's concern for how relationships are portrayed.

"They're not always physically abusive relationships...but a lot of relationships are controlling," she said. "What really concerns me is there are younger kids reading this. My cousin's reading it, and she's in sixth grade...They think that's true love, and really it isn't. I'm worried kids will put themselves in relationships that are not healthy, and that they don't deserve."

Activism for a growing concern

Nagy has personal experience; a close relative was involved in an emotionally abusive relationship. When HAVEN Teen Advisory Council staff advisor Jennifer Parker made a presentation at Stoney Creek High School, both Nagy and Batko volunteered.

Batko, who has always been "a bit of an activist," said her passion for HAVEN comes from realizing that one in three teens will be a victim of dating violence. "Everyone knows someone. I know people who have experienced violence, and that made me want to do something."

Unfortunately, Parker said, statistics for dating violence are on the rise. "We have had an increased demand at HAVEN for services to victims who are teens."

The TAC was revived two years ago to help the agency develop programs for teens and make programs more "teen friendly." In addition to their awareness activities, the teens have also designed a shelter space especially for their peers. Parker said the council chose the colors, the furnishings, and with help from a Ford Motor Company grant and employee volunteers, created a space that is as comfortable as a bedroom, where teens can hang out and feel safe.

The bookmark distribution "was going to be a big opportunity for them to stand up and say, 'Yes, I've read this book, but this isn't what healthy relationships are about.'," Parker said.

Despite the disappointment over not being able to work the premiere, Batko and Nagy agree they will find a different way to share their message. Both hope that parents will think twice about allowing children younger than 15 or 16 to read the books and see the movies.

"I disagree with the way they portray relationships, and I don't think younger kids should be reading them, but I love the books," Nagy said. "Something about them just sucks you in."

"I loved reading the books," Batko agreed. "But younger girls are reading these books, and they don't know what relationships are supposed to be."

To join HAVEN's Teen Adivsory Council or for more information, contact Parker, 248-334-1284, ext. 350.

--JH-G