A Pocket of Peace: December

Focusing on the “Other”

Consider this. When we are feeling the most stressed, anxious, or fearful we may be focused solely on ourselves. Thoughts swirl and emotions arise luring us into self-preoccupation. Which leads to more worry about what might happen, how bad it could feel, or how awful everything may turn out. Our inner peace is nowhere to be found.

This is discursive thinking, an endless mind loop of self-indulgent, “What about me?” thoughts. “I, I, I …” prevails, and we just can’t seem to make the chatter stop.

Being able to catch ourselves in the midst of this is key to maintaining inner peace. We can learn to pause, observe, and name what is happening to us. In my own life, because I write and create columns, books, and programs, I get caught up in what I have come to call “Writing Mind.” This is my unique mind chatter pattern, one that can easily pull me into feelings of anxiousness or overwhelm because there is always so much to do! With intention and practice, I am learning to name this pattern when it begins, then turn my attention in another direction to make discursive thinking stop.

How about you? What might your mind-looping pattern be? Is it worry? Fear? Reworking old conversations? Rehearsing new ones? It really does not matter what the pattern is, the point is to recognize it, name it, and transform it.

Redirecting the Loop
We begin by redirecting our thoughts, focusing our attention on something else—actually someone else. We can get outside of ourselves by thinking about another person. Putting our attention on “the other” works wonders by creating new feelings of ease, gratitude, and love.

Sit quietly for this short meditation. Breathe deeply and easily and bring to mind someone you love. Imagine them in your mind’s eye, happily going about their day. What do you see them doing? What do you desire for them? What good thoughts, prayers, or acts of blessing can you send their way? Spend some time with this dear one, holding them in heart and thought.

Now, notice how much better you feel; more centered and calm you are just thinking about your dear one. By shifting your attention from “What about me?” to “What about them?” you have raised your energetic “vibration” from self-absorption to other-care; from preoccupation to compassion.

This is an act of re-aligning ourselves with the highest virtues of Spirit—love and compassion—by focusing on the well-being of another, instead of worrying about our own. It is a process that evens out our mental terrain—from wild to meandering to ambling. In no time, we have enhanced our own well-being!

Choose inner peace by choosing to focus on “other love.” Truly, inner peace may be just one loving thought away.

Janice Lynne Lundy is an inspirational speaker, interfaith spiritual director, and the author of Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be, available in bookstores nationwide and at amazon.com  To learn more about Jan, visit her website, http://www.awakenedliving.com/, subscribe to her free newsletter, and receive a new 90-page, inspirational e-book, The Awakened Woman's Guide to Life. Jan welcomes your comments and questions: jan@awakenedliving.com.