What was your inspiration for Heart Filled Holidays and what was in your heart as you wrote the book?
The inspiration to write the book came from other people. Naturally, after the holidays are over, we all spend time talking to friends, neighbors or business associates about the things we did and what our holiday was like. When I shared stories of our holiday, and people started seeing how much we enjoyed our holiday and how little stress we had, they would start asking me questions about what we did and how they might do some of the same things. I started to realize that I wasn’t the only woman out there who had been frustrated and exhausted and, often times, left empty from the holiday rush. But I was one who found a way to change that and I enjoyed helping people enjoy their holidays more.
Then, when I was interviewed by the Free Press last year, I realized it was time to put our experience out into the world so other people could use it to change their holidays into the warm hearted experience they were craving.
How did your immediate and extended family react when you presented the idea of getting off the holiday stress wagon, so to speak?
The truth is that I didn’t set out to transform our holidays. Never once did I look at it and say, “Hey, this is too stressful and I have to revise the way we live our holidays”. I just kept looking at the month of December and taking one little thing that was bothering me and changing it. So it’s not like I came to a large group of people and tried to get buy in for making huge changes. The changes were fairly small and came one at a time. Some ideas were embraced, some were rejected and some of the rejected ideas came to life years later.
The biggest changes started when my girls were little and they only concerned my immediate family, so the only ‘buy in’ I needed was from my husband. Since no one else was directly affected they weren’t bothered by anything we chose to do. Then the extended family had time to get used to the fact that we do things ‘differently’ before any of our choices affected them.
A good example, and certainly the biggest change, was the decision for me, my husband, and our daughters to make our gifts for each other. I felt overwhelmed with shopping for our girls. By the time I helped all the grandparents and great-grandparents buy their gifts I didn’t even know what else to get the kids. And we won’t even mention the mountain of stuff we had to find room for afterwards. So I came up with the idea of making gifts for each other instead of buying them. This is a place where I’d like to give my husband huge pats on the back and tons of gratitude because, 10 years later, I still remember the look on his face when I proposed the idea. Being a girl I’m thinking of making paper crafts with my daughters, baking some cookies, or giving little coupons for back rubs and things like that. I wanted to shift our gift giving toward something simple, something that would reduce the time and effort I had to put into shopping, no big deal. Well, I didn’t realize that guys can’t do little stuff so when I asked my husband to do this he was committing to a lot more than I was. As I share in the book, we also got a lot more than we bargained for by making gifts throughout the years.
Other ideas have directly involved our extended family and we’ve gotten mixed reactions, but I’ve found that resistance is usually overcome by finding out what they want from their holidays and helping them get that in a way that works for us too.
This is a really tough economy, and for weeks, I've heard people stress out about how they're going to "afford" the holidays. How does Heart Filled Holidays address the "money" factor
Heart Filled Holidays are all about having the holiday that warms your heart and feeds your spirit. So let me ask you this… What makes you feel really great? Is it watching the kids open their presents? Is it seeing your family all gathered around the table? Is it being able to do something amazing for someone else? When you’re creating a your perfect holiday I encourage you to take some time and really think about what gives you joy, then center your holidays around that.
When you know what’s most important to you, you can let other things go. If spending time with your mom, or your friends or your kids is important to you then spend a day together baking cookies or decorating your Christmas tree instead of going out to lunch.
I also encourage you to brainstorm ideas. If you don’t have as much as money as you’d like for purchasing gifts consider drawing names, making simple gifts, giving the gift of time with you, or giving the gift of your talents.
If you can’t afford the big holiday party invite a few friends over for coffee and dessert.
If you don’t have enough money in your budget to put out the huge holiday meal for the entire extended family just ask everyone to bring a dish to pass. Or, if helping others makes you feel good then volunteer at a soup kitchen. You won’t be spending a fortune on a huge meal and you’ll get the satisfaction of helping others.
You might find that completely changing your holiday is cheaper than attending a host of parties and gift exchanges. Maybe you can get out of town, borrow a friend’s cabin for a week, or find a great holiday get-away deal.
There isn’t one magic right thing to do. The mistake I see people make is they think they have to “downsize” their holiday when in fact they can enjoy it more than ever and still save money by focusing on what’s truly important to them and being willing to do something a little bit different.
How have people responded to the book? Any special stories that really touched you?
The response has been really heart warming to me. Putting yourself out there, sharing your family stories and cherished memories is a little scary. But to hear that the book made people laugh (because they’ve been there too) or that it warmed their heart as they fondly remember their own past holidays is wonderful. But even better than that is when someone does something new, or changes something, so they can enjoy their holiday more, or they create great new memories they can cherish for a lifetime.
A story that really touches me is one of a family that found Christmas. For years this mom felt like Christmas had nothing to do her or her family; it was all about the expectations of everyone else. By understanding the simple power of choice she was able to create a holiday that honored her, her husband and children and still respected her extended family in way that didn’t make her feel guilty.
What prompted you to put together a teleseminar around the book?
I wanted to make sure people could really get off on the right foot. I realize people are inspired by what we do and I know that reading the book gives them ideas. I also know that we are human beings and a simple question can turn into a show stopper. I didn’t want anyone to read this book and get stopped in their tracks because they had a simple question, or needed a little assistance brainstorming, and didn’t have help. So I put together the teleseminar package which includes the opportunity to ask questions via email.
You're providing a couple of ways for people to access this material - tell us about the packages and what they have to offer.
Essentially you can buy the paperback book on its own or you can purchase a teleseminar package, either the Silver Package or the Gold Package. Both packages include an ecopy of the book so you can get started right away. They also include the opportunity to ask questions via email and access to the teleseminar which includes answers to any questions that are sent in. In fact, we’ve expanded these packages to allow people to send in questions up through December 20th. The Gold Package also includes 3 paperback copies of the book; one for you, one to give to a friend, and one to give to someone who has given up on enjoying their holidays.
As someone who follows you on Facebook and Twitter, I know you're an emissary of gratitude all year around. Tell us what you're most grateful for this holiday season.
I am incredibly grateful for my family. My husband and my girls are such an incredible blessing. They keep me grounded and help me focus on what’s most important in my life, encouraging me to follow my dreams, and always being the best part of my life.
Embrace your Heart Filled Holidays!
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