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| Jan Lundy |
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| Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés |
Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, author of the landmark book, Women Who Run with the Wolves, has had a profound influence on my inner life as a woman. I know many of you may know her work and feel the same way.
Earlier this summer I had the privilege of interviewing Dr. E for the purpose of sharing in the promotional launch of her new book, 30 years in the making: The Dangerous Old Woman: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype. I am pleased to share a portion of this interview with you, a powerful message to young women and the people who love them. I am confident her words will stir your heart!
JLL: You have said, "We have a birthright to live out our giftedness." What is this giftedness? Can you say more?
Dr. CPE: “Being you” is a cultural colloquialism that means, to my way of thinking, being ensouled, walking this world with one’s soul intact; conferring with what the soul sees, measures, following the soul’s instructions to be kind, loving, fierce, creative… unleashing our inborn gifts to bring all those to this needful world, to be the exemplars of these in daily life. Every person born on earth who has a soul, carries these gift.
JLL: Is the Dangerous Old Woman considered dangerous because of this giftedness, in particular?
Dr. CPE: Any woman is considered dangerous, that is, unpredictable, when she is in her right mind. Being in her right mind means she is not the slave to society’s dictates, but rather follows her soul’s advice. Thus she may or may not follow/ enact/ unfold in ways the overculture insists on. She will follow her own truth; based on her gifts of mercy, love, fierceness and creative fire.
JLL: You have also said, "The circumstances of your life don't matter. The missteps of your life don’t matter." This seems to be counter-cultural, in fact. Can you explain? And if these statements are true, what DOES matter?
Dr. CPE: To unfold one’s gifts on earth doesn’t depend on perfection. We all make errors of judgment especially when young… or at any age when we are as yet untested, or still working on becoming more conscious about all the how-tos of life with soul. We all carry sorrow about something. None of us ever ‘look right.’ Yet, these are only cracks in the boulders surrounding the headwaters of the essence of life. Those breaks in continuity just show there’s been a shattering somewhere in time worthy of compassion. But they do not occlude the flow of the waters. The life of the soul and its gifts, continue to remain alive, regardless. Being banged up is no reason to stop developing one’s gifts.
I think often of violin players, for as an older child I was raised in a gypsy Magyar Swabian family. I think of the ambitious violinists who would come to the park all shined up. Then I think of two old woman who came. Their clothes were not ‘right,’ their hair was unkempt, their dresses were threadbare, their aprons stained like they’d just cooked dinner for forty farmhands. But as each raised the violin to her chin, it was suddenly, the sound of the first music ever played in the universe, the thunder of the headwaters pouring and pouring forth. The old women had no perfection of anything. They only had Everything within them.
JLL: Today, if a group of young women (teens, in particular) sat at your feet, hoping to receive a vital piece of advice from you about how to best live in today's world, what would you tell them?
Dr. CPE: The culture has many layers that are good, but the over-culture, the one you see day to day on television, in many magazines, on the internet, in the least conscious amongst your peers, is often a predator who is out to steal you away from everything that truly matters to you and to your soul; loyalty to the soul, inclusion of others, smart insights, intuitions which are deep knowings that ‘just come to you,’ learning the greater world beyond your own little one you were born to, understanding and compassion for all, finding your fit in family life, true devoted love, creative life unleashed.
You were born with all these soulful gifts. The greatest thinkers, inventors, parents, heroes, heroines, helpers, healers, teachers, statewomen, leaders… carry all these qualities and did not let the overculture steal them. Let you hold onto your gifts too. Resist any and all who say your love of life, depth of understanding, compassion and helps for the world are not important, rather you ought sell out for some cheap thing about appearance and the ‘right lover’ and the right crowd.’
Expect the predator to show up daily. The overculture pours daily images and ideas on your head, trying to inveigle you away from your talents by making you think only ‘looks and love affairs’ are supposed to take up 90% of your time, that you should anguish over these, how you look, how much you weigh, what clothes others say you must wear… who you should try to be seen with, and more… and to work at only these.
Thus everyday, the overculture will attempt to steal your true self from you, and you will no longer know truth from lie, and will have gotten on the hamster wheel going nowhere, rather than walking into your own radiant future.
A young man, a young woman who is truly ensouled gives 90% to his or her time to soulful development of talents and gifts and interests. Learning new ways of seeing and being is one of the greatest gifts of the ensouled person. We hear of people ‘losing their souls’ having ‘sold out’ to the pressures and unconsciousness of culture. This is how it occurs, by being carried off and away from your gifts by something that has no depth of interest in you, other than you buy buy buy its product, or climb atop one another like crabs, trying to be at the top of the pile.
But top of the pile is not where true leaders stand. Whether captain of a team, or being the lead in the play, or laying out an artwork to show or uplift…true leaders stand in protection of a group of ensouled people—they stand with them, not atop them. A true leader helps others to remember to remain just that, living in their gifts daily. And if forgetting for a time, the leader then helps people to remember again. And in the meantime, leaders are the good examples, themselves, of how to live one’s gifts soulfully, how to focus on what truly nourishes the soul instead of another bowlful of whatever junk food for the mind the culture is dishing up that day.
© 2010, Dr.C.P. Estés, All Rights Reserved.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD, is an internationally recognized scholar, award-winning poet, Diplomate senior Jungian psychoanalyst, and cantadora (keeper of the old stories in the Latina tradition.) In addition to her international bestseller Women Who Run With the Wolves, Dr. Estés is Deputy Managing Editor and columnist writing on politics, spirituality and culture at the newsblog, TheModerateVoice.com and a columnist at The National Catholic Reporter online. She speaks daily to readers on Facebook. Her books, fireside chats, and audio books are available at SoundTrue.com.
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